SIX DYSFUNCTIONAL MARRIAGES OR RELATIONSHIPS

Hey guys! I am back to bloggin’ things the Pastor says! This one was a strong message on Sunday and I knew I had to make it into a post so that y’all can read! So let’s talk about marriages, huh?! (And relationships)

(I’ll be using my own terms a lot, so do not think the Pastor said words like “heck”, “freak in the sheets”, etc.)

THE DIABETIC MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Marriage is not all sweet; heck! life is not all sweet… what you being the compulsory sweet tooth for??! When all you look out for are the sweet moments and you shut it down when times are a little bit rough, you. go. taya.

When someone constantly needs you to be the sugar in their tea, they’ll eventually melt you! – Pastor Blessing Olamijulo

When you only act the partner when your man has money, or when things are going well and untangled for your lady – you’re going to end up diabetic.

THE DOG MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Yep! It is exactly what you are thinking!

When you marry someone or stay in a relationship with that person because he/she is a freak in the sheets… or just for constant sexual pleasure, you’re on the wrong path! You need to do a U-Turn! Even animals have heat/mating period, why you gonna wanna get some everywhere and anywhere?!

It is discipline that satisfies, not people – Pastor Blessing Olamijulo

As a lady, if you’re the type that everyone wants to have sex with when they meet you? You need to check yourself – your dressing, your language (body, inclusive), what you portray or influence, and your aura!

And guys? Erection should not give you direction! (It’s Pastor Blessing that said it.)

THE RED-CROSS MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Y’all familiar with the word “rebound”, right? Yup! This is the marriage or relationship where you’re constantly playing nurse. Your partner just got out of a relationship, he/she is still in pain – hasn’t gotten over Tinuke; majority of your conversations go back to how Steven hurt her – and you’re there saying “sorry, time and love heals all, I’m going to be good to you!” Brother, she is not going to appreciate the good, at least not right now. And by the time she realizes she really does not want to be with you? Your self-worth reduces because you find out all this time, she’s been using you to heal + she stayed on cos she pitied you (for being so good.)

Do not be a burden bearer; let people get over their pain/shame first – Pastor Blessing Olamijulo

THE EMERGENCY MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Two words – hidden relationships. Marriage for paper, marriage to make the traveling click. “No one needs to know, let’s not blow our trumpets right away.” “As soon as I’m over there, I’ll arrange for you to come over, baby.” “I love you baby, I don’t want our families to dabble in this, they’ll ruin us… just follow my lead, I swear you won’t regret this.”

Lyrics!

They date you in secret, and neglect you in secret. The “wise” partner leaves when he/she gets what they need.

What you gonna do then?

THE BLACK AND WHITE MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

Zebra crossing, immediately came to my mind when he announced this title. I was curious; but I already had an idea where this was going.

This is the clashing faiths marriage! I know there are so many couples out there where the partners are from different faiths, who believe they are getting it just right. Well, I have no plans to argue with them… but it is better to pursue union and spiritual agreement and connection, better to just avoid all of that confusion – for the families and for your children.

Even in the Christian faith, there are doctrinal differences; not to now talk of when you completely step out of your faith!

Until there is a solid soul tie in marriage, the marriage might not last – Pastor Blessing Olamijulo

THE MOMMY’S BOY VS. DADDY’S GIRL MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP

This one is quite self-explanatory, isn’t it?

I mean, when you have decided that you are adult enough to enter into a relationship and marriage, that part of your decision better including adulting your way all through to the end!

When you have to call your Ma about what your wife did and she instructs you to slap her, and being the 8 year old that you still are, you slap her and Ma becomes your personal cheerleader “that’s my boy, show her you’re the man!’

Errr… boy, that ain’t no manly action!

And there’s the chick who still needs to fall back to daddy’s money or her spoiled princess attitude like she’s still in her father’s house – girrrrlll, if you don’t learn to master that thing called YOUR marriage now, someone else gonna master it for you – all of it!

*****

The session ended with tips for workable marriages – know your God (the God of love), know your purpose (the purpose of both you and your partner – and there must be an agreement, at least on the basic things), know yourself!

Can I reiterate? KNOW GOD, KNOW YOU, KNOW THEM!

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