“So do you want me to tell you the truth or what you want to hear?” asked an exasperated John after his wife had nagged him on the same issue of who had given him the new gold wrist-watch that had now suddenly become an inseparable part of him. He could sense it…another odd quarrel was in the offing.

“You are just going to lie anyway, you have been lying about this watch since I first asked you” replied Ada, his wife very hotly. “First, you said it was your office that gave you as a gift for being such a diligent staff but remember what you told me last night when I asked you the price, you said I should ask your boss! Your boss who is a female! John, you are sleeping with your boss, why will a woman buy you this kind of expensive wrist-watch except both of you are lovers?”

“What? Wait…where did that come from? Sleeping with my boss…Ada what is this? You have come with this your odd quarrels again” queried a surprised John.

“I don’t even want to hear any explanations! You are just like every man, you cheat and you lie! You lied about this wrist-watch, you said your office, then you said your boss…I’m sure you are trying to hide something from me and don’t even bother trying to lie about it! Your guilt is written all over you! What kind of stupid hard-work are you doing for that your yeye boss that will make her buy you such an expensive wrist-watch, then you’ll try to dismiss things by saying I am starting another odd quarrel” shouted an angry Ada as she angrily walked out on her husband.

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“I’m John and I need to say first before all other things that my wife is the most beautiful and the sweetest woman on earth…until she gets a notion that I am lying about something and then she starts a very odd quarrel out of nowhere! Take this wrist-watch for instance, I work hard at what I do, I’m a procurement manager by the way and I’ve been able to fetch the company some pretty good deals with my bargaining skills and watchful eye for details when procuring goods on behalf of our clients or for the execution of a company project.

I honestly didn’t think it out of place for my boss, who by the way, is a respectably married woman to have given me this as a gift, especially since it was done in the presence of other company staff, a couple of whom were also duly rewarded with the same kind of wrist-watch as well. Perhaps, I should have taken a group photograph of the presentation.

Trust my wife though, she’d probably have said we were all members of some kind of ritualistic office orgy group – okay, that’s a little extreme but then it really can be frustrating when you are being accused of something you haven’t done or intend to do.

But telling that to my wife is akin to an orchestra playing before a deaf man and it’s been that way since she attended an end-of-year party organised by my office and met my boss – Mrs. Akpan, an intelligent, young, attractive and vivacious woman.

Now if I get home late, I have to face a grand panel of enquiry. If I need to go out of town on an assignment, I have to Skype at odd times or get requests for pictures at rather inconvenient times and places. I oblige because I love my wife very much…but still I feel it each day now that she’s just living to catch me red-handed on some kind of offence concocted by her mind.

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